Teach and Model Effective Use of Time
From earlier infancy, children experience time as set by their family. Infants are conditioned to be gratified immediately or to wait for gradually increasing periods. In our society, by age 3, many children see ht world as totally revolving around them and are unable to wait. They have not learned that time can be used in many ways, and that they must learn that you can't always get what you want when you want. Very young children enjoy finishing a task within a time limit. They feel successful by accomplishing setting the table, stringing beads, etc.
The toddler can learn to follow routines and reasonable time limits. Routines establish a feeling of regularity. A time for play, rest, schoolwork, or chores can be set at age 3. Reasonable time limits can be set and reinforced. Meals, dressing, washing, etc., should be accomplished within age-appropriate time limits. By asking a simple question, most parents know what reasonable means at different ages. A 7 year old does not require an hour to consume a meal. A 9 year old does not need 40 minutes to get dressed in the morning. By establishing limits at an early age, poor use of time can be prevented.
Punctuality should be modeled by parents, who should expect and reinforce punctually in their children. You should remind young children about the passage of time and expect and reward gradual progress. The use of a kitchen timer or alarm clock is an excellent training device. It is an impersonal reminder of time passing and the end of a time interval. For example, young children procrastinate about going to bed. A timer should be set for 15 minutes with the agreement that the child shuts the light and gets into bed. There are no arguments when the buzzer goes off. Children who learn to accomplish objectives on time do not develop problems with time.
"Don't put off 'till tomorrow what you can do today." You should live and teach this valuable proverb. The procrastinator puts things off and typically criticizes and blames others. An appropriate proverb here is-"It's not what you say, it's what you do."Tedious or difficult tasks should not be put off. What must be learned by children is "do it now" not "I'll do it tomorrow." Excuses must be carefully avoided. The following statements are all too familiar in a great number of families: "I'm too tired to do it now," "I don't have the time to do it," "I'll start dieting and exercising tomorrow." Behind these statements are the wish and expectation that things will work out by themselves. Prevention of difficulties is best accomplished by feeling and projecting the attitude that "I'll make it happen" not "I hope it happens." You should communicate to children that it is important to get things done now. Put simply, you show interest in your children's activities, check on progress, help them when necessary, and praise their efforts.
One important key to effective time use is the teaching of organizational skills. you teach that tasks, especially if they appear overwhelming, should be broken down into steps. Then-get started! The child should be helped to lay out clothes or onjects as an aid to being efficient and reasonably fast. Don't nag and do show that you want to be helpful. Positive thinking is demonstrated by modeling and saying aloud statements such as-"It feels great getting things done," "If I don't do it, it won't get done and I'll feel terrible." This style naturally leads to the teaching of self-control and self-reward. The goal is the independent setting of a time to work and then consistently working in that place. This conditions the child to set regular times and work, not play, in that selected work setting (a corner of a room or at a desk). Self-reward is accomplished by self-praise: "I'm really glad I finished. It was hard but I did a good job." Additionally, children can make a list of enjoyable activities and do those activities only after completing a chore or assigment (self_reward).
At times, it may be helpful to let the child suffer the natural consequences of wasting time. The child might then miss breakfast, be late for school or a movie, or be scolded by friends fornot being on time or fulfilling a promise to accomplish something. Many parents fall into the "Achilles heel" Syndrome, where they want to protect their child from harm. By constantly protecting the child from the natural consequences of poor time use, the child does notlearn the importance of using time wisely. Using time wisely can be bolstered by doing a simple form of leisure counseling. When the family atmosphere is peasant, the ways of spending time should be discussed openly and specifically. The time for fun should be set aside and planned. Some families always wait until the last minute to make arrangements. Planning a trip or participation in an event is an invaluable lesson for children. By participating in the preparation for an event, children experience the appropriate use of time for planning, doing what is necessary, and finally enjoying the fruits of prior labor.
Promote Consideration and Sensitivity to Others
Real caring about the feelings of others is a strong antidote to time wasting that affects others. Procrastination and irresponsibility about time can be prevented by the practicing and teaching of consideration of others. Being late inconveniences others. if a cihld is late, it isnothelpful to nah, scold, or punish. It is helpful to say, "Please don't be late again; our friends expect us on time. Now, let's hurry." Being slow when others are all working quickly results in being seen as a nonhelpful slowpoke. "Trying your best" is as applicable to working quickly and efficiently as it is to doing the best you are capable of doing.
Sensitivity to others' feelings should be demonstrated by the usual psychological atmosphere you create. In the morning, you can project warmth and tenderness (emotional closeness), or irritability, tension, and anger. Your awareness of your own moods can lead to your promotion of aclimate of caring for others. In a similar fashion, you can be pleasant, encouraging, and alert, or troubled, moody, lethargic, or impatient. One example is the mood set at bedtime. Someparents are tired and irritable and set a negative tone, which is exaggerated by a child's dawdling while preparing for bed. You could tell interesting stories at bedtime, making it a pleasant experience. Stories about the past and the exploits of family members are interesting to all aged children. When the story is over, children go to sleep. In this atmosphere, complaining and procrastination do not develop.
Avoid Linking Conflicts with Time
personal achievement is a worthwhile end in itself. When achievement is used as a competitive weapon, problems can develop. If doing something correctly is valued, then correctness will be less likely to be used as a means of demonstrating superioriry or making someone feel inferior. Quite frequently not achieving is used as a means of revenge. In essence, we are saying that time usage should not be linked with negative feelings. You should avoid using time as a punishment. For example, it is not wise to punish children by 20 minutes of inactivity. This is not only boring but demonstrates the use of time as a weapon.
Similarly, avoid developing a pattern where time is part of a power struggle. By nagging an dyelling about children moving too slowly, use of time becomes part of a struggle between parent and child. Being effective in accomplishing your goal avoids the repetitive, ineffective nagging and scolding. The use of consistent rewards for being on time results in children being on time. Also, be very aware when children appear to be stalling due to fear of trying or as ameans of expressing anger. Encourage and accept their direct expressing a psychological conflict. Therefore, dawdling will not develop as a means of expressing anger or fear or for controlling adults.
Relevant Topic:
From earlier infancy, children experience time as set by their family. Infants are conditioned to be gratified immediately or to wait for gradually increasing periods. In our society, by age 3, many children see ht world as totally revolving around them and are unable to wait. They have not learned that time can be used in many ways, and that they must learn that you can't always get what you want when you want. Very young children enjoy finishing a task within a time limit. They feel successful by accomplishing setting the table, stringing beads, etc.
The toddler can learn to follow routines and reasonable time limits. Routines establish a feeling of regularity. A time for play, rest, schoolwork, or chores can be set at age 3. Reasonable time limits can be set and reinforced. Meals, dressing, washing, etc., should be accomplished within age-appropriate time limits. By asking a simple question, most parents know what reasonable means at different ages. A 7 year old does not require an hour to consume a meal. A 9 year old does not need 40 minutes to get dressed in the morning. By establishing limits at an early age, poor use of time can be prevented.
Punctuality should be modeled by parents, who should expect and reinforce punctually in their children. You should remind young children about the passage of time and expect and reward gradual progress. The use of a kitchen timer or alarm clock is an excellent training device. It is an impersonal reminder of time passing and the end of a time interval. For example, young children procrastinate about going to bed. A timer should be set for 15 minutes with the agreement that the child shuts the light and gets into bed. There are no arguments when the buzzer goes off. Children who learn to accomplish objectives on time do not develop problems with time.
"Don't put off 'till tomorrow what you can do today." You should live and teach this valuable proverb. The procrastinator puts things off and typically criticizes and blames others. An appropriate proverb here is-"It's not what you say, it's what you do."Tedious or difficult tasks should not be put off. What must be learned by children is "do it now" not "I'll do it tomorrow." Excuses must be carefully avoided. The following statements are all too familiar in a great number of families: "I'm too tired to do it now," "I don't have the time to do it," "I'll start dieting and exercising tomorrow." Behind these statements are the wish and expectation that things will work out by themselves. Prevention of difficulties is best accomplished by feeling and projecting the attitude that "I'll make it happen" not "I hope it happens." You should communicate to children that it is important to get things done now. Put simply, you show interest in your children's activities, check on progress, help them when necessary, and praise their efforts.
One important key to effective time use is the teaching of organizational skills. you teach that tasks, especially if they appear overwhelming, should be broken down into steps. Then-get started! The child should be helped to lay out clothes or onjects as an aid to being efficient and reasonably fast. Don't nag and do show that you want to be helpful. Positive thinking is demonstrated by modeling and saying aloud statements such as-"It feels great getting things done," "If I don't do it, it won't get done and I'll feel terrible." This style naturally leads to the teaching of self-control and self-reward. The goal is the independent setting of a time to work and then consistently working in that place. This conditions the child to set regular times and work, not play, in that selected work setting (a corner of a room or at a desk). Self-reward is accomplished by self-praise: "I'm really glad I finished. It was hard but I did a good job." Additionally, children can make a list of enjoyable activities and do those activities only after completing a chore or assigment (self_reward).
At times, it may be helpful to let the child suffer the natural consequences of wasting time. The child might then miss breakfast, be late for school or a movie, or be scolded by friends fornot being on time or fulfilling a promise to accomplish something. Many parents fall into the "Achilles heel" Syndrome, where they want to protect their child from harm. By constantly protecting the child from the natural consequences of poor time use, the child does notlearn the importance of using time wisely. Using time wisely can be bolstered by doing a simple form of leisure counseling. When the family atmosphere is peasant, the ways of spending time should be discussed openly and specifically. The time for fun should be set aside and planned. Some families always wait until the last minute to make arrangements. Planning a trip or participation in an event is an invaluable lesson for children. By participating in the preparation for an event, children experience the appropriate use of time for planning, doing what is necessary, and finally enjoying the fruits of prior labor.
Promote Consideration and Sensitivity to Others
Real caring about the feelings of others is a strong antidote to time wasting that affects others. Procrastination and irresponsibility about time can be prevented by the practicing and teaching of consideration of others. Being late inconveniences others. if a cihld is late, it isnothelpful to nah, scold, or punish. It is helpful to say, "Please don't be late again; our friends expect us on time. Now, let's hurry." Being slow when others are all working quickly results in being seen as a nonhelpful slowpoke. "Trying your best" is as applicable to working quickly and efficiently as it is to doing the best you are capable of doing.
Sensitivity to others' feelings should be demonstrated by the usual psychological atmosphere you create. In the morning, you can project warmth and tenderness (emotional closeness), or irritability, tension, and anger. Your awareness of your own moods can lead to your promotion of aclimate of caring for others. In a similar fashion, you can be pleasant, encouraging, and alert, or troubled, moody, lethargic, or impatient. One example is the mood set at bedtime. Someparents are tired and irritable and set a negative tone, which is exaggerated by a child's dawdling while preparing for bed. You could tell interesting stories at bedtime, making it a pleasant experience. Stories about the past and the exploits of family members are interesting to all aged children. When the story is over, children go to sleep. In this atmosphere, complaining and procrastination do not develop.
Avoid Linking Conflicts with Time
personal achievement is a worthwhile end in itself. When achievement is used as a competitive weapon, problems can develop. If doing something correctly is valued, then correctness will be less likely to be used as a means of demonstrating superioriry or making someone feel inferior. Quite frequently not achieving is used as a means of revenge. In essence, we are saying that time usage should not be linked with negative feelings. You should avoid using time as a punishment. For example, it is not wise to punish children by 20 minutes of inactivity. This is not only boring but demonstrates the use of time as a weapon.
Similarly, avoid developing a pattern where time is part of a power struggle. By nagging an dyelling about children moving too slowly, use of time becomes part of a struggle between parent and child. Being effective in accomplishing your goal avoids the repetitive, ineffective nagging and scolding. The use of consistent rewards for being on time results in children being on time. Also, be very aware when children appear to be stalling due to fear of trying or as ameans of expressing anger. Encourage and accept their direct expressing a psychological conflict. Therefore, dawdling will not develop as a means of expressing anger or fear or for controlling adults.
Relevant Topic:
- Behavior Problems of Children
- Immature Behaviors
- Insecure Behaviors
- Habit Disorders
- Peer Problems
- Antisocial Behaviors
- Other Problems
