Desensitize and Counter-Condition
The goal is to help overly sensitive, fearful children be less sensitive or nonreactive to their areas of sensitivity. A general rule is that children become desensitized to fear when the feared object or thought is paired with anything pleasurable (counter-conditioning). It is very effective to have children play a favorite game or any fun activity while fearful. All kinds of specific fears have been eliminated by this method. A child might dress in a Batman costume and play out scenes in a dim room as a first step in overcoming fear of the dark. Hide and seek might be played in a darkened room. First the parent hides and child looks; then the child hides and the parent tries to find him. Desensitization naturally occurs when children are enabled to watch (from a distance) a feared event. Children should not be forced to pet a dog. The best approach is to let children watch dogs being fed behind a window, then watch in the same room and then feed a biscuit to the dog. The gradual progression permits more and more bravely. Dog stories should be read and puppies should be played with. Rather than parental persuasion, a "natural" loss of fear results.
Fear can be turned to active enjoyment. Family togetherness helps desensitization, since children feel safer in a group. A neighborhood teenager may be used to engage in feared activities (swimming, sports, etc.) with a child. Children admire teenagers, and the activity might soon become enjoyable. Some children panic at the sound of thunder. Parents might imitate the sound and have children do the same. Storms should me discussed and explained. Watching rain and lightning should be made into a game. How many lightning flashes occur in a minute? How much rain collects in a cup in 15 minutes? Self-desensitization should be encouraged. Children can independently learn to use this method with any fear. They might look at scary animals or monsters in a book, draw, take photographs, write a story, discuss fears with siblings, etc. This changes the helpless feeling into one of actively doing something constructive. Repeated exposure desensitizes, while avoidance of feared situations prolongs or increases fear.
Observing Models is a natural form of desensitization. Children learn how nonafraid individuals handle situations. Actual observation or watching films both work. The observed child progressively deals fearlessly with more and more fearful situations. "Average" models are best, or children may see the model as having special qualities that enable them to be brave. The observations convince some children that what they fear is really safe. One example is the use of video-taped peer models overcoming test situations. The observing children became less fearful of academic tests. Another example is the successful use of watching children successfully undergoing hospitalization and surgery. Parents should take every opportunity to prepare children for potentially traumatic situations. By being aware of the types of preparation methods available (such as films), you can seek them out and aid your fearful child.
Some children are quickly desensitized by a simple method called paradoxical intention. you tell children that they can pretend being more frightened than they're ever been. "Show me just how frightened a child can be when she's standing on a cliff." The girl would then act out being scared to death of the high place. At times, the effect is that children begin to feel that their fear is foolish and unnecessary. Similarly, fears can be overcome by overdoing exposure. you can desensitize children to sudden loud noises by having them pop a roomful of balloons with a needle.
Rehearsal
Practice enables children to feel comfortable while repeating mildly fearful events. In young children play is a natural form of rehearsal. Puppets and acting permit children to express a variety of feelings and fears. Praise by adults reinforces children for rehearsing dealing with feared objects. A chart indicating progress is rewarding to some children. Behavioral rehearsal is the performing of behavior which deals assertively with situations. Anger may be felt, acted out, and transformed into action such as hitting dolls or yelling at pretend monsters. Some children respond very well to cognitive rehearsal, which is the mental practicing of going through various activities. It is similar to an adult reviewing alternative behaviors mentally in order to prepare for some situation.
Positive Imagery
A special use if imagination to reduce fears is the purposeful employment and practice of visualizing pleasant scenes. Young children find this especially useful. Their heroes are visualized helping them deal with fearful situations. you demonstrate how it's done, and then your child makes up a similar story. "Wonderwoman and you are at home when suddenly all the lights go out. You're afraid but the two of you find candles and go tot he basement to change the fuse. You feel great that you were able to fix the problem. Wonderwoman congratulates you and flies away in her invisible plane." Another variation is to have children visualize their favorite activity such as baseball, driving a car, being on a beach, etc. While enjoying the scene they imagine a mildly fearful event occurring. For example, while driving a sports car, the child sees a large dog along the road. The dog chases the car as the child drives quickly away. Then he slows up and the dog comes to the window. The boy pets the dog and drives away. Imagination is used as a means of seeing oneself being more and more able to tolerate fear and eventually being relatively fearless.
Older children should be told how their imagination can be used to overcome fears. While they're comfortable, you both can describe humorous stories about the feared object. Each story should progressively approach real life events. if children become anxious, you sensitively back off and defuse the fearful part of the story with humor or by changing the subject.
Reward Bravely
You should be sensitive to children's readiness to change, grow up, and be braves. Praise for each step and concrete rewards are very useful. cause, time, and place of fears can be pinpointed. being able to tolerate a very small amount of that situation should be rewarded. Many children enjoy earning rewards by showing how brave they can be. For example, if they say hello to a stranger they can earn 5 points. Answering the telephone can earn 10 point, and talking to different people can then gradually progress by earning points, which are used to purchase privileges or toys.
School phobia is another good example. You must react immediately by insisting that children attend school. Even if they complain about intense fear or physical pain, they must go. A medical examination should be scheduled during non-school hours. Most parents know the pattern of psychosomatic stomachaches-once school is avoided, the somatic complaints almost always disappear. But a negative medical evaluation is a clear indicator of the psychological nature of the fear of school. The child is sent, or taken, to school and praised for attending. With young children, a party can be held to celebrate the overcoming of their fear of going. With this, and other fears, progress is rewarded, and any form of reinforcement of fear is carefully avoided. Often, children who stay home from school are reinforced for this behavior by parental attention, playing games, watching television, etc.
Self-talk
Learning to talk differently to oneself is a very powerful antidote to fear. The helpless, fearful feeling is replaced by an independent feeling of competency. It is quite straightforward to suggest to children that they silently talk to themselves in order to feel better. You explain that thinking scary thoughts make things seem scarier. Thinking positive thoughts leads to calmer feelings and braver behavior. "I can take it; I'm getting braver. It'll soon be over; everything's fine. I'm okay; it's just my imagination. Monsters are just in movies; nothing will happen. Thunder can't hurt me' I'll just enjoy they storm." It is essential to show children how they can stop their scary thoughts. They can think "stop" and immediately say a positive comment to themselves. The "I can't help it" feeling must be replaced by a positive course of action.
Relaxation
Muscular relaxation is very helpful with physically tense children and teenagers. They learn to relax tension and fear away. Relaxing your muscles counteracts fear build-up. Similar to self-talk described above, relaxation gives children a positive focus. Fear of the dark can be counteracted by learning to relax completely. This is particularly effective if children have practiced repeatedly in their own bed. They will have learned to relax on cue to a simple word like "relax." Some children can effectively practice relaxing in a warm bath. This gives them good practice, and they can use their imagination to recapture the warm, relaxed feeling. Therefore, when they go to sleep, they have a method to overcome fear. They relax their muscles and can imagine being in a warm bath.
Relaxation may also be effective combined with desensitization described previously. It is very effective to describe more and more fearful scenes while the child is relaxed. Fear becomes less and less intense as the child is exposed(in imagination or in real situations) repeatedly to feared situations without becoming anxious. The fear becomes deconditioned. There are a variety of simple relaxation methods that lead to a calmer feeling and general lowering of fearful states.
Meditation
A variety of meditation techniques have been used by individuals of all ages to feel calmer and less fearful. The simplest forms, and most usable with children, are breathing rhythmically and/or counting slowly. Breathing rhythmically has been used to reduce children's fear of school tests. Not only is anxiety lowered, but attention is sharpened, and distraction can be more adequately resisted. You show children how to breathe slowly and evenly, and monitor their practice. The key is even, natural breathing with no pauses. There should be a continuous, rhythmical up and down movement of the abdomen. It is important to be sensitive to what works best for your child. Some children are helped by focusing their attention on a bright object in their room. it is quite effective to teach meditation after a child has mastered muscular relaxation, described above. A helpful guideline is the child's self-report about what works and what feels good.
The goal is to help overly sensitive, fearful children be less sensitive or nonreactive to their areas of sensitivity. A general rule is that children become desensitized to fear when the feared object or thought is paired with anything pleasurable (counter-conditioning). It is very effective to have children play a favorite game or any fun activity while fearful. All kinds of specific fears have been eliminated by this method. A child might dress in a Batman costume and play out scenes in a dim room as a first step in overcoming fear of the dark. Hide and seek might be played in a darkened room. First the parent hides and child looks; then the child hides and the parent tries to find him. Desensitization naturally occurs when children are enabled to watch (from a distance) a feared event. Children should not be forced to pet a dog. The best approach is to let children watch dogs being fed behind a window, then watch in the same room and then feed a biscuit to the dog. The gradual progression permits more and more bravely. Dog stories should be read and puppies should be played with. Rather than parental persuasion, a "natural" loss of fear results.
Fear can be turned to active enjoyment. Family togetherness helps desensitization, since children feel safer in a group. A neighborhood teenager may be used to engage in feared activities (swimming, sports, etc.) with a child. Children admire teenagers, and the activity might soon become enjoyable. Some children panic at the sound of thunder. Parents might imitate the sound and have children do the same. Storms should me discussed and explained. Watching rain and lightning should be made into a game. How many lightning flashes occur in a minute? How much rain collects in a cup in 15 minutes? Self-desensitization should be encouraged. Children can independently learn to use this method with any fear. They might look at scary animals or monsters in a book, draw, take photographs, write a story, discuss fears with siblings, etc. This changes the helpless feeling into one of actively doing something constructive. Repeated exposure desensitizes, while avoidance of feared situations prolongs or increases fear.
Observing Models is a natural form of desensitization. Children learn how nonafraid individuals handle situations. Actual observation or watching films both work. The observed child progressively deals fearlessly with more and more fearful situations. "Average" models are best, or children may see the model as having special qualities that enable them to be brave. The observations convince some children that what they fear is really safe. One example is the use of video-taped peer models overcoming test situations. The observing children became less fearful of academic tests. Another example is the successful use of watching children successfully undergoing hospitalization and surgery. Parents should take every opportunity to prepare children for potentially traumatic situations. By being aware of the types of preparation methods available (such as films), you can seek them out and aid your fearful child.
Some children are quickly desensitized by a simple method called paradoxical intention. you tell children that they can pretend being more frightened than they're ever been. "Show me just how frightened a child can be when she's standing on a cliff." The girl would then act out being scared to death of the high place. At times, the effect is that children begin to feel that their fear is foolish and unnecessary. Similarly, fears can be overcome by overdoing exposure. you can desensitize children to sudden loud noises by having them pop a roomful of balloons with a needle.
Rehearsal
Practice enables children to feel comfortable while repeating mildly fearful events. In young children play is a natural form of rehearsal. Puppets and acting permit children to express a variety of feelings and fears. Praise by adults reinforces children for rehearsing dealing with feared objects. A chart indicating progress is rewarding to some children. Behavioral rehearsal is the performing of behavior which deals assertively with situations. Anger may be felt, acted out, and transformed into action such as hitting dolls or yelling at pretend monsters. Some children respond very well to cognitive rehearsal, which is the mental practicing of going through various activities. It is similar to an adult reviewing alternative behaviors mentally in order to prepare for some situation.
Positive Imagery
A special use if imagination to reduce fears is the purposeful employment and practice of visualizing pleasant scenes. Young children find this especially useful. Their heroes are visualized helping them deal with fearful situations. you demonstrate how it's done, and then your child makes up a similar story. "Wonderwoman and you are at home when suddenly all the lights go out. You're afraid but the two of you find candles and go tot he basement to change the fuse. You feel great that you were able to fix the problem. Wonderwoman congratulates you and flies away in her invisible plane." Another variation is to have children visualize their favorite activity such as baseball, driving a car, being on a beach, etc. While enjoying the scene they imagine a mildly fearful event occurring. For example, while driving a sports car, the child sees a large dog along the road. The dog chases the car as the child drives quickly away. Then he slows up and the dog comes to the window. The boy pets the dog and drives away. Imagination is used as a means of seeing oneself being more and more able to tolerate fear and eventually being relatively fearless.
Older children should be told how their imagination can be used to overcome fears. While they're comfortable, you both can describe humorous stories about the feared object. Each story should progressively approach real life events. if children become anxious, you sensitively back off and defuse the fearful part of the story with humor or by changing the subject.
Reward Bravely
You should be sensitive to children's readiness to change, grow up, and be braves. Praise for each step and concrete rewards are very useful. cause, time, and place of fears can be pinpointed. being able to tolerate a very small amount of that situation should be rewarded. Many children enjoy earning rewards by showing how brave they can be. For example, if they say hello to a stranger they can earn 5 points. Answering the telephone can earn 10 point, and talking to different people can then gradually progress by earning points, which are used to purchase privileges or toys.
School phobia is another good example. You must react immediately by insisting that children attend school. Even if they complain about intense fear or physical pain, they must go. A medical examination should be scheduled during non-school hours. Most parents know the pattern of psychosomatic stomachaches-once school is avoided, the somatic complaints almost always disappear. But a negative medical evaluation is a clear indicator of the psychological nature of the fear of school. The child is sent, or taken, to school and praised for attending. With young children, a party can be held to celebrate the overcoming of their fear of going. With this, and other fears, progress is rewarded, and any form of reinforcement of fear is carefully avoided. Often, children who stay home from school are reinforced for this behavior by parental attention, playing games, watching television, etc.
Self-talk
Learning to talk differently to oneself is a very powerful antidote to fear. The helpless, fearful feeling is replaced by an independent feeling of competency. It is quite straightforward to suggest to children that they silently talk to themselves in order to feel better. You explain that thinking scary thoughts make things seem scarier. Thinking positive thoughts leads to calmer feelings and braver behavior. "I can take it; I'm getting braver. It'll soon be over; everything's fine. I'm okay; it's just my imagination. Monsters are just in movies; nothing will happen. Thunder can't hurt me' I'll just enjoy they storm." It is essential to show children how they can stop their scary thoughts. They can think "stop" and immediately say a positive comment to themselves. The "I can't help it" feeling must be replaced by a positive course of action.
Relaxation
Muscular relaxation is very helpful with physically tense children and teenagers. They learn to relax tension and fear away. Relaxing your muscles counteracts fear build-up. Similar to self-talk described above, relaxation gives children a positive focus. Fear of the dark can be counteracted by learning to relax completely. This is particularly effective if children have practiced repeatedly in their own bed. They will have learned to relax on cue to a simple word like "relax." Some children can effectively practice relaxing in a warm bath. This gives them good practice, and they can use their imagination to recapture the warm, relaxed feeling. Therefore, when they go to sleep, they have a method to overcome fear. They relax their muscles and can imagine being in a warm bath.
Relaxation may also be effective combined with desensitization described previously. It is very effective to describe more and more fearful scenes while the child is relaxed. Fear becomes less and less intense as the child is exposed(in imagination or in real situations) repeatedly to feared situations without becoming anxious. The fear becomes deconditioned. There are a variety of simple relaxation methods that lead to a calmer feeling and general lowering of fearful states.
Meditation
A variety of meditation techniques have been used by individuals of all ages to feel calmer and less fearful. The simplest forms, and most usable with children, are breathing rhythmically and/or counting slowly. Breathing rhythmically has been used to reduce children's fear of school tests. Not only is anxiety lowered, but attention is sharpened, and distraction can be more adequately resisted. You show children how to breathe slowly and evenly, and monitor their practice. The key is even, natural breathing with no pauses. There should be a continuous, rhythmical up and down movement of the abdomen. It is important to be sensitive to what works best for your child. Some children are helped by focusing their attention on a bright object in their room. it is quite effective to teach meditation after a child has mastered muscular relaxation, described above. A helpful guideline is the child's self-report about what works and what feels good.
Relevant Topic:
- Behavior Problems of Children
- Immature Behaviors
- Insecure Behaviors
- Habit Disorders
- Peer Problems
- Antisocial Behaviors
- Other Problems
